Marriage and Family

Traditionally, marriages were arranged by parents, but now people choose their own partner. On average, men marry at age 25 and women around age 23. The government is trying to reduce population growth through family-planning policies, which include providing incentives for later marriages and smaller families.

Family members maintain strong ties and provide one another with assistance and support as needed. In rural areas it is normal for the extended family to share the same home, while in urban areas it has become more common for only the nuclear family to live together. The average household has six members.

Eating

Rice is the staple food of Vietnam. A fermented fish sauce called nuoc mam is the main seasoning used to flavor dishes; special foods are also dipped in it. Vietnamese cuisine encompasses a wide variety of dishes, and regional specialties are often served to guests.

The Vietnamese use spoons for eating soup, and chopsticks for other dishes. It is usual for people to help themselves from dishes in the center of the table and place the food in their rice bowl; they always hold their rice bowl in their hand while eating from it. Tea, coffee, and beer are common beverages, but are often not served until after the meal.

Socializing
Vietnamese generally shake hands when greeting and parting. Using both hands shows respect, as does a slight bow of the head. In rural areas, elderly people who do not extend their hand are greeted with a slight bow. Women are more likely to bow the head slightly than to shake hands. Vietnamese names begin with the family name and are followed by a given name. For example, in the name Nguyen Van Duc, Nguyen is the family name. People address one another by their given names, but add a title that indicates their perceived relationship to the other person. These titles are family related rather than professional. Among colleagues, for example, the younger of the two might combine the given name with the title of Anh (“Older Brother”). A basic greeting combined with the given name and title is Xin chao (“Hello.”). Classifiers for gender and familiarity are also combined with the greeting. In formal meetings, business cards are sometimes exchanged on greeting.

Vietnamese have a strong sense of hospitality and feel embarrassed if they cannot show their guests full respect by preparing for their arrival. Therefore, it is inappropriate to visit a home without having been invited. Gifts are not required, but are appreciated. Flowers, incense, or tea may be appropriate gifts for the hosts. Hosts also appreciate a small gift for their children or elderly parents.

Recreation

The Vietnamese enjoy team sports such as volleyball and soccer. Badminton, table tennis, swimming, and tennis are also popular. In urban areas, it is common to see people of all ages out early in the morning for exercise such as jogging, t’ai chi ch’uan (a form of shadowboxing), yoga, or group calisthenics.

Holidays and Celebrations

By far the most important Vietnamese holiday is Tet, the lunar New Year, which comes in late January or early February. On this day, everyone becomes a year older. Tet lasts for three days, during which the Vietnamese spend their time feasting and visiting family and friends. Before Tet, people clean their houses, refurbish ancestral graves, settle debts, and mend strained relationships.

Trung Nguyen, or Wandering Souls day, is a Buddhist holiday that falls on the 15th day of the seventh lunar month, and is the second most important holiday after Tet. People all over the country worship and offer prayers in temples, homes, and even offices.

Thanh Minh, which means “pure and bright,” is an occasion on the fifth day of the third lunar month to honor the dead. Graveyards are visited with flowers and other offerings. Phat Dan Day in April or May is a celebration of Buddha’s birth, enlightenment, and death.

Doan Ngu, on the fifth day of the fifth lunar month, is a celebration of the summer solstice. Death is the overwhelming presence around which the rituals for this holiday are based: people make offerings to the God of Death—as well as to ghosts and spirits—and human effigies are burned to help bolster the ranks of the God of Death’s army.

Besides Tet, Vietnamese public holidays include International New Year’s Day (1 January); 30 April, which commemorates the defeat of the U.S.-backed South Vietnamese government in 1975; Labor Day (1 May); National Day (2 September); and the Anniversary of Ho Chi Minh’s Death (3 September). Christians celebrate Christmas Day (25 December) and Easter.